So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
