I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
