We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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