I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
