he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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