You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
