I bet he comes in French.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
