I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
