i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
