pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
