Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
