She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
