i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
