just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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