...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
