He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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