I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
