Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
