I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
