ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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