Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
