You're my little dorito
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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