Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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