I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
