I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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