Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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