The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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