don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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