After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
