My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I want to make a zoo with you.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
