I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
