oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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