This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
