I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Enjoy the penises
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
