someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
