What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
