I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
