I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
