a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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