hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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