Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
