I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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