Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I intend to get homeless drunk
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am one with the molecules
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
