I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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