He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
