Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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