did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
