Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
