I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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