i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
