what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
